Friend Dilemma

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  • @firebirdsinger ugh.  Groomsman A doesn't like Groomsman B's significant other and started drunkenly ranting at them in a bar to the point that they felt physically threatened.  He won't apologize because he doesn't think he did anything wrong.

    Gross...
    Yeah.  Pretty much everyone agrees with the CONTENT of said drunken rant and just wants him to apologize for, you know, making them feel threatened.  BUT WHATEVER YOU'RE JUST A THIRTY YEAR OLD CHILD NBD
  • They're both kinda low key scared of me and my momma bear tendencies, so hopefully not so much
  • Plus, that's August Katy's problem. November Katy doesn't have to worry about that.

  • BTW don't feel like you're the only one with wedding party drama either.  Two of BB's groomsmen aren't speaking at the moment and I'm just spinning in a field like Julie Andrews not giving a fuck.


    Quick but awesome story - when my cousin got married, he had two best friends who didn't know each other. One from college and one from his neighborhood. He asked them both to be his best man, figuring it was no big deal to have two. My cousin just went with the flow and chose a maid of honor and a matron of honor, and moved on. 

    Until the rehearsal the night before the wedding, when the guys were lining up. One of the guys went to get in front, and the other guy said, "I have to be in front, I'm the best man," and the other guy said, "I'm the best man." The groom had forgotten to mention it to either one of them. 

    Because he was a TOOL of the highest order. But it was still funny. One of the guys left right then, and they were scrambling around figuring out if he was even going to show, and the other one was so pissed his girlfriend was in the corner calming him down.
  • A woman I've been friends with for 15 years actually asked me if she could be my bridesmaid about a year before we were engaged ("I've never been in a wedding before, no one ever asked me, can I be in yours?"). I felt awkward, but kind of skipped over it with a "oh, that's so far away, we're not even thinking about a wedding." When we did get engaged, I didn't ask her. I was a bit worried that she would be hurt, but she hasn't brought it up. I was never certain if I should say anything to her about it, but I didn't and we seem okay.
  • A woman I've been friends with for 15 years actually asked me if she could be my bridesmaid about a year before we were engaged ("I've never been in a wedding before, no one ever asked me, can I be in yours?"). I felt awkward, but kind of skipped over it with a "oh, that's so far away, we're not even thinking about a wedding." When we did get engaged, I didn't ask her. I was a bit worried that she would be hurt, but she hasn't brought it up. I was never certain if I should say anything to her about it, but I didn't and we seem okay.
    I never never never understand putting someone in this position.  When my college roommate got married, I wasn't a bridesmaid.  I didn't care.  At.  All.  I'm still invited to the wedding, we're good.  Why do you even want to be in a wedding?  You miss out on the best part because you're taking pictures!
  • A woman I've been friends with for 15 years actually asked me if she could be my bridesmaid about a year before we were engaged ("I've never been in a wedding before, no one ever asked me, can I be in yours?"). I felt awkward, but kind of skipped over it with a "oh, that's so far away, we're not even thinking about a wedding." When we did get engaged, I didn't ask her. I was a bit worried that she would be hurt, but she hasn't brought it up. I was never certain if I should say anything to her about it, but I didn't and we seem okay.
    I never never never understand putting someone in this position.  When my college roommate got married, I wasn't a bridesmaid.  I didn't care.  At.  All.  I'm still invited to the wedding, we're good.  Why do you even want to be in a wedding?  You miss out on the best part because you're taking pictures!
    Plus, you have to wear a dress someone else chooses for you. My otherwise sane sister and my best friend from jr high/high school both chose hideous bridesmaid dresses. At least they weren't too expensive, but ugh.
  • KarenFK said:
    A woman I've been friends with for 15 years actually asked me if she could be my bridesmaid about a year before we were engaged ("I've never been in a wedding before, no one ever asked me, can I be in yours?"). I felt awkward, but kind of skipped over it with a "oh, that's so far away, we're not even thinking about a wedding." When we did get engaged, I didn't ask her. I was a bit worried that she would be hurt, but she hasn't brought it up. I was never certain if I should say anything to her about it, but I didn't and we seem okay.
    I never never never understand putting someone in this position.  When my college roommate got married, I wasn't a bridesmaid.  I didn't care.  At.  All.  I'm still invited to the wedding, we're good.  Why do you even want to be in a wedding?  You miss out on the best part because you're taking pictures!
    Plus, you have to wear a dress someone else chooses for you. My otherwise sane sister and my best friend from jr high/high school both chose hideous bridesmaid dresses. At least they weren't too expensive, but ugh.
    The new trend is to let the girls pick for themselves.  I told my girls a color & fabric and told them to choose whatever dress they wanted. I really believe it's backlash against the 80s
  • I've only done the bridesmaid thing once.  Fortunately, my best friend knows my style well...so I let her pick it out and we agreed on one dress.  The only thing I didn't like is that it was floor length, but it was too short for my tall frame (by my standards)...but I went with it....

    I'll not speak of the mini melt down she had about covering my tattoos when she picked out the dress and that I had to go buy a sweater thing to cover up my one fucking butterfly tattoo b/c she didn't want "everyone looking at it"...(I know she sounds horrible but that Bridezilla behavior is real...and scary.  She is so level headed and kind, but fuck if the wedding didn't bring out the worst in her)
  • KarenFK said:
    A woman I've been friends with for 15 years actually asked me if she could be my bridesmaid about a year before we were engaged ("I've never been in a wedding before, no one ever asked me, can I be in yours?"). I felt awkward, but kind of skipped over it with a "oh, that's so far away, we're not even thinking about a wedding." When we did get engaged, I didn't ask her. I was a bit worried that she would be hurt, but she hasn't brought it up. I was never certain if I should say anything to her about it, but I didn't and we seem okay.
    I never never never understand putting someone in this position.  When my college roommate got married, I wasn't a bridesmaid.  I didn't care.  At.  All.  I'm still invited to the wedding, we're good.  Why do you even want to be in a wedding?  You miss out on the best part because you're taking pictures!
    Plus, you have to wear a dress someone else chooses for you. My otherwise sane sister and my best friend from jr high/high school both chose hideous bridesmaid dresses. At least they weren't too expensive, but ugh.
    The new trend is to let the girls pick for themselves.  I told my girls a color & fabric and told them to choose whatever dress they wanted. I really believe it's backlash against the 80s
    I let them choose their dresses, I asked for jewel tones and please don't clash. One wore sparkly navy and the other wore sparkly purple. They looked awesome together.
  • Been IN zero weddings and attended two.  Most of my family lives overseas, which is how I escaped the wedding frenzy of the past few years.

    Slightly miffed I haven't been invited to my friends' weddings, mostly the ones who had HUGE weddings (not at all with the ones who had to have small ones...I know how expensive that all can get), but at least I get to avoid the bouquet throw AND buying a present this way.

    I live in fear of having some sort of second bridal tide break upon me and waking up one morning to fifteen extremely ugly dresses in my closet that I had to pay for...ugh.
  • KarenFK said:
    A woman I've been friends with for 15 years actually asked me if she could be my bridesmaid about a year before we were engaged ("I've never been in a wedding before, no one ever asked me, can I be in yours?"). I felt awkward, but kind of skipped over it with a "oh, that's so far away, we're not even thinking about a wedding." When we did get engaged, I didn't ask her. I was a bit worried that she would be hurt, but she hasn't brought it up. I was never certain if I should say anything to her about it, but I didn't and we seem okay.
    I never never never understand putting someone in this position.  When my college roommate got married, I wasn't a bridesmaid.  I didn't care.  At.  All.  I'm still invited to the wedding, we're good.  Why do you even want to be in a wedding?  You miss out on the best part because you're taking pictures!
    Plus, you have to wear a dress someone else chooses for you. My otherwise sane sister and my best friend from jr high/high school both chose hideous bridesmaid dresses. At least they weren't too expensive, but ugh.
    The new trend is to let the girls pick for themselves.  I told my girls a color & fabric and told them to choose whatever dress they wanted. I really believe it's backlash against the 80s

    My niece did the same, she had a variety of fabrics picked out to go with her dress (she wore an ombre hot pink) and her bridesmaids worked with a dressmaker so each had a dress that fit and was flattering. Two were pregnant so I think this really helped make it work.
  • I have stood up in six weddings. Maid of honor twice.  I am soooo over it.
  • This all sounds so civilized. Yeah -- the most offensive bridesmaid dress I had to wear was in the late 80s and is very much a product of its time. Shiny. Hot Pink. Three tiers of ruffles and a butt bow. At least we got them wholesale so they were cheap.

  • In recent years, I had to wear this... it's "truffle"... the sash was a wrap that we had to buy and then just tie around our waists.  Mine kept unfolding and I looked like a sumo.  
    image
  • I'm gonna say the top half of that dress needed some editing as well.  But that sash... 0_0
  • But....like...why?
  • edited November 2015
    It was halter dress and then we had to buy the boleros (one girl had some scarring she wanted covered, understandably)

    The color was just ugh as well...

    ETA: The bride's dress was cream with some "truffle" trim... she wanted us to match her.  No two sashes looked the same.  Granted, mine varied and size and width throughout the day, but this moment was captured by camera....
  • Ah...it's a bolero. It looks sheer because of the lighting....

    Yea, "brown"....not the best color choice perhaps. 
  • Oh... it was a SHEER bolero.
  • @karen_B  Jesus, take the wheel! I had hoped I saw that wrong.......
  • Karen_B said:
    Oh... it was a SHEER bolero.

    A 'sheer halter over strapless with a sheer bolero in truffle and a cream sash'. Oh well it sounds delicious.
  • I feel very vindicated now.  FYI... it's still in the hotel laundry bag from the night of the wedding.  The brown satin shoes (found for $15 at DSW on clearance, small miracles) have been worn once since when I dressed as Gizmo for Halloween.
  • Karen_B said:
    Oh... it was a SHEER bolero.
    You are an EXCELLENT friend.
  • LOL, not because of this... we're actually not friends anymore.
  • @karen_B  It had to at least have started about the sheer bolero and sumo wrestler belt.....
  • edited November 2015
    I am not sure I will ever forgive my sister for the dress I had to wear for her wedding -- it looked like floral upholstery (and I actually saw it years later as couch cushions - in a maternity store) and had sleeves that were so puffed up they were bigger than my head. 

    When my sister was pregnant with her daughter, someone was making her a baby quilt and asked all her friends to each make a square, so I cut up the bridesmaid dress for my quilt square. It seemed appropriate and it put an end to the idea that I might ever wear it again.

    ETA: it was really satisfying to rip it up for the quilt square.
  • Damn, Kittens, you have suffered in the name of friendship!!!!

    I have been in ONE wedding and it was super relaxed: 8 women on the bride's side, one dude on the groom's. The bride and groom each had a brother so they jointly ran the wedding, and one was certified to make it legal. When we got to the rehearsal we realized none of us knew what to do, until one of the bridesmaids stepped in - this was her TWENTY-THIRD wedding where she was in the wedding party. So she whipped us into shape. 

    When my brother and SIL were planning their wedding my sister and I were trying to practice faking enthusiasm if we were asked to be in the bridal party. Fortunately we weren't; they asked her to read and not me, and I was a teeny bit left out but didn't feel too badly. And then in the end they needed an emergency second reader, so I got to participate after all. 
  • We have a service club at school that takes old prom/bridesmaid dresses, cleans them up, and offers them for free to girls who cannot afford dresses for their proms.  I donated the dress from my sister-in-law's wedding this morning, plus a bunch my sister-in-law has worn in recent weddings.  My dress wasn't actually bad - black strapless floor length - but I don't live the kind of life where I would ever need it again.
  • This is an old thread and my question isn't related to the original post, but it's a dilemma involving friends. My child and their BFF have been making plans to go to summer camp together this year (it'd be the 3rd year in a row for them). Unfortunately, the friend's parents (who are also friends with my husband and me) are divorcing and their financial situation isn't very stable right now, so the friend may not be able to afford to go. We're not rich, but I taught an overload this semester and will have some extra money we could swing their way to cover some of the cost of the camp. Is there any way I can make such an offer without making things awkward?
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