Dear Kitteh...

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Comments

  • @GraziDiMenti and @PastryGoddess -- you guys are *killing* me.
  • My gosh!  I thought it was only Shadow (the dearly departed) who would stare with a look of total disgust on her face when we did the deed.

    Priceless posts, all of you!
  • Dear Urchin,

    The door is closed, throwing your furry little body at it won't make me open it. You like privacy for using your litter tray. So do I.
  • Dear Kitty,
    It it is raining in the front yard, it is also raining in the back yard. This is axiomatic and does not require empirical testing.
  • Dear Kittehs

    The dog has been here for years. Just because you cannot see the dog, doesn't mean the dog isn't---and there you go, run!

    PS: At least you two are cuter than the ravenous bugblatter beast of traal.

    No kittehs or doges were harmed in the making of this PSA
  • Dear Zoe,

    Thank you for taking pity on this poor stupid hoomin without sharp teef or claws to catch her own food.  
    Yes I am aware that I do not have tiger like reflexes to hunt down large game the way you do.  
    Yes I am aware of the hours of hunting and stalking that it took to take down this gigantic bug.  
    Yes I see it displayed nicely on my brand new comforter, bonus points for the yarn garnish
    Yes I do see you on top of the bookcase singing the victory song of your people.
    Sing on Victorious Cat, Sing On...


  • Keep this up long enough and you will be able to collect these into a sure-to-be-an-Internet-sensation book.
  • edited March 2015
    Dear Patches,

    I understand your dignity has been sorely compromised. Vigorously licking yourself for the better part of an hour now has not stopped the snickers coming from your tribe of hoomins. It's not as if we didn't warn you. A kitteh of your girth would not win the battle of the warped aluminum window screen. I suppose we could chalk up your feeblemindedness to that little incident when your two and four year old hoomins [to the horrified consternation of their parents] threw you over the second floor balcony when you were but a wee kitlet. But seeing as you have continued to thrive for the last ten years anyhow, at least you only fell around six feet this time. By the time we all rushed to the window, you had seemingly recovered except for the excruciating embarrassment. It could have been worse; you could have landed on the dog. 

    Your loving hoomins, despite evidence to the contrary



    PS to BKs: This embattled but very sweet kitteh lived to be over 18 years old, in spite of her many misadventures.
  • Dear Puppy [yes, that's our cat's name; he thinks he's a dog],

    Well, aren't you clever, opening the door and letting yourself in at 5:00 a.m? You can wait one more blessed hour before we get up; we're retired! You still have food in your bowl.

    People who enjoy sleep
  • edited March 2015
    Sad Cat Diary link appears to be broken. 

    My favorite cat series is Dear Kitten because Stormie is also afraid of the Vah - cum. 
  • I just checked link in your post from my Smartphone and it played just fine. My cat Daniel also thinks "it which shall not be named" is the devil.
  • I just checked link in your post from my Smartphone and it played just fine. My cat Daniel also thinks "it which shall not be named" is the devil.
    I was correcting a link posted upthread.
  • Milaxx said:

    My favorite cat series is Dear Kitten because Stormie is also afraid of the Vah - cum. 
    @Milaxx

    I assumed this thread was based on those videos, so I wrote mine with Ze Frank’s voice in my head (well, a combination of his and my own). :)  The first Dear Kitten video is still the best, I think, but they keep getting better at capturing subtle expressions on those cats’ wonderful faces…which match the VO perfectly. 
  • I haven't seen Dear Kitten before!

    If you haven't read Breaking Cat News, you are in for a treat as well.
  • edited March 2015
    I recommend the Henri Le Chat series on YouTube.  This one's my favorite (because I hate Halloween):

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R_fUsssnHPw
  • edited March 2015
    Dear Chloe,

    If by chance we end up together in some cosmic afterlife in which I can ask one question of you, and be able to fully understand your answer….

    You know how I need to iron shirts in a closed-off, no-cats-allowed room, because our old ironing board is dangerously rickety and the iron’s cord is tantalizingly long and pounce-at-able?  And so I have to wait until I see you sound asleep, high at the top of the cat tree, in the room farthest away from the ironing room (...and you know how you’re also a totally deaf cat)?  And then I RUN as fast as I can to that room, and open the door just the teeniest tiniest little sliver, slip through, and then immediately slam it shut again?  And stand with my back against the closed door, panting and mentally congratulating myself because YES, I did it! I did it!!  And you know how I’m so glad that I can finally crank up the iron because the day’s a-wastin’…..but then, just as I'm spreading out the first shirt on the board, I feel your silky fur brush against my calves and hear your purr revving up?

    ….so, obviously, my One Question will be:  Oh, my mysterious, magical Sneaky Girl — JUST HOW MANY WARNER BROS. CARTOONS DID YOU WATCH BEFORE YOU CAME TO LIVE WITH US ?!!!
  • @Milaxx -- Thanks for fixing the link.  I have a friend with two Siamese.  I showed that to her last year.  When it got to the "sing the song of my people" she was laughing so hard she was crying.

    If anyone is interested (and I hope it's okay to post the link), my kitty has his own blog.  There are plenty of exploits there.


  • Dear @WinterWhite ;

    You have had cats for a very long time, but have failed to note a fundamental law of physics. Cats are a fluid. I slipped under the door.

    Love, Chloe.
  • Singing the song of my people is just flat out genius. I use it so often in reference to my cat Linus. When I'm downstairs with the dogs he sits at the top of the stairs and sings the song of his people to remind me that he is up there and demands kitteh time. (He refuses to have anything to do with the dogs. They are an affront to him in every way.)
  • Dear Urchin,

    I will go to bed when I am good and ready. I don't need you to tell me it is time to go upstairs.
  • Stormie never says a word. I've heard her meow no more than 5 times. One of those was when she managed to get a paw stuck under the refrigerator. When she is hungry she comes over and stares daggers at me. 
  • @foodycatAlicia   LOL, this explains so much, thank you.  :)  What a great week I'm having:  yesterday I finally got a Photobucket account...earlier today I managed to embed a YouTube video in the International Movies thread, yay...and now I've had my Afterlife question answered!   (Wait – just hope that last one didn't happen because I've actually...um, crossed over?  I did feel a little queasy after lunch...) *rushing off to make sure I still have a reflection in the mirror*
  • Dear Mr. Cat,                                                                                                                                                                         Your prowess as a hunter is formidable. Thirteen voles in one week! I and the garden thank you but please leave your trophies outside on the deck. Stepping on a bunny head at 3:00am on the way to the bathroom IS NOT AMUSING. I accept the gift in the spirit it was meant.                                                                                                                                                                  
  • Dear Maggie,

    I realize being apart for the 2 minutes of personal restroom time I need is incredibly stressful for you. Nonetheless, your attempts to claw at me from under the door while crying are in vain. Fear not, I will always let you watch the water swirl, but do you have to put your whole head in the bowl?

    Private Potty Momma
  • Dear Sassy,

    Hoomins get to have pettins too.  Stop staring.  That's weird
    DEAD. I am dead.
    Agreed. And adding,
    Dear Catrick,
    Now is not the time to rub against your human's chest. You are making it weird.
  • Dear Obi-Wan Catnobi,
    Not all of the food is for you. Please. Get off the counter. Get off the table. Please let your humans eat in peace. No, your putting your face 1/4" away from my plate does not count as leaving us to eat in peace.
  • Hermione said:
    Dear Sassy,

    Hoomins get to have pettins too.  Stop staring.  That's weird
    DEAD. I am dead.
    Agreed. And adding,
    Dear Catrick,
    Now is not the time to rub against your human's chest. You are making it weird.
    Dear Mama,

    No...licking makes it weird.  Dis is normal

    Love Catrick
  • edited March 2015
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    My Dearest Simba Indiana Jones

    You have played your Aby death stare card one too many times.
    I am now immune.
    Love,
    Mom
  • Dear Urchin,

    I will go to bed when I am good and ready. I don't need you to tell me it is time to go upstairs.
    Rinse and repeat.

    I'M A GROWN WOMAN, I DON'T NEED MY CAT TO TELL ME IT IS BEDTIME.
  • What Gretchen!   WHAT DO YOU WANT?  I have given you pettins and gooshy food, and more pettins, and treats.  Knock it off missy
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